Sustaining a brain injury often poses significant changes and challenges for individuals, couples, families and the community. Every aspects of a person’s life is affected by a brain injury.
βNothing is so painful to the human mind as a great and sudden change.β is a quote that I read recently. It reads so simple, but rings so true. The human nature is positioned towards resisting change, we like going to the same restaurants, seeing the same friends, making conversation about the same things we like. We are creatures of habit, and we like it that way. Often out of nowhere people are confronted with a very sudden, often severe catalyst of change- our loved one sustaining a brain injury.
The changes that a brain injury entail are often sudden, with far reaching consequences for the persons who sustained the injury, as well as their close loved ones. During the acute hospitalization, and rehabilitation phase, loved ones often assume the role of the very strong, and capable support network. The loved ones are often at the beck and call of the patient with no task too trivial or outrageous. Loved ones often need to drive laundry to and from the hospital, bring the patient their phone (and the charger, and a plug, and earphones- sometimes demanding three different trips to the hospital),loved ones need to make sure to update the rest of the family on the progress and well-being of the patient, order them pizza to be delivered to their bedside and be available to render unwavering emotional support.
The loved one not only aspires to meet all the needs of the patient, but also undergo a metamorphosis of stepping into new roles and taking on new responsibilities at home. Loved ones often become mother and father, breadwinner and nurturer, nanny and home maker… often so busy assuming dual roles that they do not realize how much this trauma and changes affect them on an emotional level. Loved ones are often faced with their own emotional turmoil, sense of experiencing trauma and losses, feelings of anxiety and fear of the unknown future. Loved ones are often tangled up in meeting the patient’s needs that they resist their own emotional needs and processes, with the desire to be there for, and be strong for their loved one.
When the patient is in the process of reintegrating back into the home environment, these changes often come with a set of challenges on how to best manage the patient’s physical and emotional needs. Often the patient is not able to resume their former roles and responsibilities, thus their loved ones continue to have dual roles, with the added responsibility of caring for the patient in the home environment.
This is therefore an encouragement and reaching out to loved ones, family members of those looking after someone who sustained a brain injury. I would like to reiterate the necessity of looking after your own physical and mental health. The best chance you can give your loved one who sustained the injury, and yourself, is to look after your own physical and emotional well-being. If your cup is empty, it becomes a near impossible to ensure your loved one is cared for. Self-care as a caregiver is the most important determining factor in how well the patient will reintegrate back into the home environment.
TIPS FOR SELF CARE:
– Eat three meals a day, and practice mindfulness (being fully present when participating in activities)
– Exercise (jog, walk, crossfit, kickbox, ninja classes)- whatever tickles your fancy
– Express yourself- journal, paint, write poetry. Don’t underestimate the power of expression
– Find a support group- like for real. It truly helps being in a room of people who have been through similar experiences
– Reach out to a therapist if you are not coping emotionally.
